Writing over a thousand miles

Didnt post lately,was tired of current life,getting into trouble everyday,eveerything was in a mess.hoping everything will end quickly,im tired of everything,friends are the one i can rely on.should i do a vlog everyday? my entired life has been troubled.Being a kind soul aint good.being a show off soul aint good.what am i suppose to be.everyday i ruined for me.Days have been numbered for me.when am i going to die.when am i going to get scolded.when am i gonna get broken pieces of memories.everything is numbered for me.im tried of everything.feeling stress.cant handle stress,why am i such a coward.i have to become strong.Strong to overcome everything,strong to become a punching bag to others,strong to love,strong to cherish.